by Dan Wood

Since most people have done these "I Hate" lists at sometime, I reckoned
I'd  give it a go.  It just seems a bit ironic that most people do these
when  they  first  start  with  diskmags, but I've been in the 'biz' for
years, but never got around to doing this, so here goes!

1. pEOPLE wHO tYPE lIKE tHIS

ARGHHH!  Don't they realise how difficult it is on the eye to read that?
The  only  time I ever type like that is when I accidently do it using a
PC,  because  if you have CAPS LOCK on a PC, and you press Shift you get
lower  case  letters  for some dumb reason.  Best way is to just not use
them, and PCs as well while you're at it.


[It  was  a  phase  started  by  ascii  artists to my knowledge.  Boring
standard  text  is  just  that,  boring.   So we livened it up a bit but
people  got  carried  away  and  wrote  CLI  programs  like "cool" which
converts  text  files  to this format.  These days ascii artists tend to
use symbols to represent characters rather than case.  Kei]


2. BBC Radio

Boy  this sucks.  Does any one still actually listen to this?  I heard Radio
2  the  other day, the 'announcers' ('cos they're not presenters) sound half
asleep,  and  probably  are,  the  shit  they  produce.   Get rid of it all,
commercial radio is the best.


[Check out the BIG BYTE on sundays at noon on Radio 5.  Kei]


3. Older people who go out with teenagers

What's  up with these people?  What's the attraction if you're 35 with a
15  year  old?  I'm just out of my teens, and I wouldn't go out with any
one younger than 17 (actually I prefer women slightly older).  Why can't
they find some one their own age, and stop picking on kids?  I know of a
woman  who  is !!43!!  and going out with a 15 year old boy!  It started
out  with the boy going out with the ladies daughter (who's 17) and they
split  up  and  the  mother  started  going  out with him, and whats the
betting  what  this  woman's  after...   hmmn.  But I'm only a few years
older than 15, but I don't find 15 year olds attractive.

4. Rab C Nesbitt

I'm sure it's a very good show, but I need Teletext page 888 (subtitles)
to understand the fat git!

5. Blur

Beetlebum... 'nuf said.

6. Oasis

Why  are these idiots so popular?  Heard what happened when they went to
America?   They  had  a  fight  so  they had to come home?  No way, they
didn't sell enough tickets to make it worth their while doing a concert.
But  would  they  admit  that?  Would they hell as like (that expression
should  be  number  7 :) The American 'fans' wouldn't take them sticking
two fingers up, and telling them to f' off and still pay their livings.

7. Digitiser, Channel 4 TText Page 170

What  have  they got against the Amiga?  They have news sections and the
Gateway  2000  purchase  didn't  get  a  mention,  it's  my betting they
actually fear the Amiga 'cos they know what it could do when it returns.
So  as  ever,  they  put down what they fear and don't understand.  They
spout  off  crap  about  the  machine  with  out even looking into it or
researching  their  comments.   Such  as  "people  compare $3000 PowerPC
processed  PCs to a 512K A500 with 1.3 because thats the only Amigas you
can  find".   Well  sorry  to  dissapoint  boys and girls, but the A1200
outweighs  the  current  numbers  of Amigas by about 85%.  And a lot are
heavily expanded.  And Stewart Campbell...  didn't he used to edit Amiga
Power, or was that another Mr Campbell?

8. PC Users that say "You've got an Amiga?... FNARRR"

I say "Sod off dickhead". :)

7. Playstation owners

Most  (not  all,  but  most)  Playstation  users  think  to be under the
impression  that,  if  a  game  doesn't  have  full 3-D graphics and 256
colours on screen, with full scrolling animation, then it's a shit game.
I  get more fun out of Pac-Land than any Playstation game I have played,
and  Tomb Raider?  What a sack of cack, and why are the females on these
games  always...   so well endowed?  It makes them look stupid if ya ask
me.

[I'm buying a PSX just so I can play Tomb Taider 1 and 2 so there.  Kei]

9. Idiots who say "you middle class git"

Which I don't think I am.  But the majority of people who have said this
to me have lived on council estates, have skin-heads, 3 kids and a wife,
and  no job.  And just 'cos I got off my arse and made a nice living for
myself  and  got  a nice car and a nice house, they see fit to 'take the
piss'.   Don't get me wrong about council estates, I know there are some
very  nice  people  on  them, but the ones like in the case above REALLY
piss me off.

10. Classical Music

Most of this is sooo boring, but I've heard some 'ok' tunes, but it lacks
any 'feel' to it.

11. Country music

Loads of bearded old men sitting in barns with guitars singing about 'the
county bar'... yeah... right.

[Sorry to keep commenting your article Dan but I can't help it.  You are
probably  boiling the blood in the veins of people reading this and they
probably  want  to  reply to you right now (get typing!) and as I can, I
will.   Watch CMT and you will see that C&W music is no longer like this
with  women  like  Shania  Twain singing modern C&W tracks with her cute
figure.  Kei]


12. Cassette Tapes

Crap  quality,  fragile, look stupid, and whats with all that background
hiss?   Why  couldn't  the designers (Phillips) make it of a thicker and
better quality tape?  Minidisc is the way forward.  But I guess cassette
tapes have their advantages, in that EVERY ONE has a player, and they're
cheap and portable.

13. Men and women that 'go out on the pull'. (to get laid)

What is that?  Very sad.  When did sex become cheap?  I dunno, maybe I'm
just an old fashioned git?  :)

14. Jane Butterworth

At  'the  other  place'  we have a conference every issue, and one of my
friends (Mr Arnie Finen) seems to read this woman's column every week in
The  News  of The World (which is a comic, not a paper, people).  And he
often  re-types  (illegaly  of course :) letters she gets and the advice
she  gives  for  us  all to see what we think.  And she is CRAP!  Sexist
(she  reckons  ALL men use women, by her views) she seems to think a boy
being attracted to his 2 year younger sister is 'perfectly natural stage
of  growing  up, talk to her about it'.  WHAT?!!  It's sick!  Definately
not  normal,  never  happened to me, and if it did, I wouldn't DARE tell
her,  I'd  never  be  able  to  face her again.  But suffice to say Jane
Butterworth  and that other feminist from the News of the World magazine
who  does  the  Family  section sucks as well, which leads nicely to the
next one...

15. Feminists 

What  is  it  with  these?  Albeit most of them are women in comfortable
shoes,  from  the  planet  lesbos (lesbians for the uneducated).  But if
they  don't  like  men, then fine!  Keep away from us, 'cos we certainly
don't like you.  And what's all this 'we fight for equal rights'?!!  You
got  that  in the 60s!  Women have MUCH more rights than men these days,
they  have  it  much better and the whinging farts still harper on about
it.   I  can  honestly  see  a time when men start to stand up for equal
rights, seriously can see it coming.

16. People with dress sense totally different to them.

Alright, it's summer, it's warm.  People tend to walk around half-naked.
You  see  women  in those silly crop top things and mini-skirts, and men
with those skimpy cycling shorts...  but if you're fat, don't wear stuff
like that boys and girls!  It's not nice to see!

17. Windows

Did  Bill Gates and the team have to work hard to get it to be that bad?
How  the  hell  did  it  become so popular, when it's so bad?!  I *hate*
Windows.

[Microsoft were given the license to produce the OS for IBM's PC's as at
the time, IBM figured the personal computer market would never take off.
They  had  to kick themselves in the butt for that one.  Their reply was
OS/2  which  as  we  know,  came  out  to late and Microsoft remains the
industry  standard  with  the most support from 3rd party manafacturers.
Kei]

18. The word "Bloke"

What  the  hell  is  that?!   What a stupid word, please BAN it from THE
WORD.   It's  banned  from  my  mag from now on, it's only recently I've
realised how stupid it sounds!

And  it  was  a  bit  wierd to end at number 18, but I couldn't think of
anymore.  So until next time.  That's all I guess!



[If  there  was  ever  an article to inspire replies then this is it.  I
promised myself recently that I would cut down on the amount of comments
I  made  per  issue as my viewpoints are not the same as everyone elses.
So  even  though  I  wanted  to  reply  to  every line you wrote here, I
haven't.   I  think I'll leave that to the other readers.  I think I can
hear BootBlock's text editor booting up right now..  Kei]


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